You know we're making amazing strides in creating equality between the sexes. For example, did you know that men can get PMS now?
Seriously, some head shrinker named Jed Diamond has been going around the last few years and saying that as men get older they too go through a hormonal change that can affect their mental and emotional well-being. They call it "Irritable Male Syndrome".
Now isn't just a charming fucking little clinical term? This is like if we called PMS "Crazy Bitch Time". If any doctor ever tells me I have "Irritable Male Syndrome", I'm going to take that as full permission to punch him right in the happy place. I mean, if he was at all paying attention to his own diagnosis, he'd have seen it coming, right?
So how do you know if you're suffering from IMS? Don't despair, there's a handy little quiz that will give you guidance!
Yes, on a scale of one to four, one being "Never" and four being "All the time", you're asked to judge how well a list of adjectives (mostly adjectives anyway. For a PhD holder, Diamond seems a little sketchy on his sentence structure sometimes) applies to you over the period of the last month.
Of course you must realize that I couldn't possibly pass up such an intriguing opportunity to learn about my emotional health. Do I suffer from "Irritable Male Syndrome"? Well, it's tough to say, because honestly, although I wouldn't dream of questioning the efficacy of Diamond's work, I think this quiz needs a little fine-tuning.
There are dozens of terms and phrases that you're asked to judge yourself on, among them:
Angry, Grumpy, Easily Annoyed, Aggressive, Hostile, Mean, Argumentative, Explosive.
Now, an educated guy like Diamond ought to know that those are all synonyms, or so close to synonyms that most people would have trouble differentiating between them in any practical way. I guess if you have a hot temper the test is sort of weighted against you because that counts eight different ways.
And some of these other terms aren't exactly synonyms, but still things that just sort of naturally pair with other ones:
Moody, Discontented, Tense, Touchy, Frustrated, Troubled.
Doesn't it stand to reason that if I'm Angry, Grumpy and Easily Annoyed that I probably couldn't help but be Moody or Tense about it?
And what the fuck, Troubled, did this guy spend hours pouring over dictionaries and thesauruses (thesauri?) trying to find the single most vague and broadly applicable but distinctly negative adjective he could find? Is there ANYone in the world who goes an entire month without feeling Troubled about something? Even Hugh Heffner gets a little edgy when he runs out of Viagra.
Other parts of the quiz would seem to have more to do with the quality of life you enjoy (or don't enjoy) than your emotional state:
Unloved, Unappreciated, Bored, Overworked, Overwhelmed.
Yeah, alright, so those might indicate a psychological problem, but might they also just be indicative of someone who has a shitty life?
And some of this stuff is just plain funny:
Need to Use Drugs or Alcohol. "Honey, I'm not an addict, I just have Irritable Male Syndrome!"
Need to Sleep more or Trouble Sleeping. Wow, so I've got IMS if I sleep too much OR if I sleep too little. What an curiously broad and encompassing clinical condition.
Desire to Eat. Holy shit! I have a desire to eat all the time! Every day in fact! I usually end up eating three times a day, sometimes more! And to think, it's been going on since childhood. I must need real professional help.
Sarcastic. Not to split hairs, but Sarcastic is something I am, not something I feel. And as you've probably noticed, your little quiz isn't clearing up the problem.
Urge to Drink Caffine [sic]. Seriously, that's how it's spelled on the quiz. And this thing has been up for a long time, so they've had plenty of opportunities to fix it. Just a reminder, this guy has a PhD. Although I'm not exactly sure in what...
If you're curious, I scored a whopping 89, indicating that IMS is "definitely present" and that I should seek treatment with Diamond, either in person or through his online program.
But wait, I'm only 27, IMS is supposed to strike when you're middle-aged and your hormone levels are going awry? Ah, well, I guess that means I'm just an asshole then.
And now I've got a psychological exam that proves it. Maybe this wasn't such a bad day after all. I'm feeling a little less Demanding, Withdrawn, and Impatient already.
Seriously, some head shrinker named Jed Diamond has been going around the last few years and saying that as men get older they too go through a hormonal change that can affect their mental and emotional well-being. They call it "Irritable Male Syndrome".
Now isn't just a charming fucking little clinical term? This is like if we called PMS "Crazy Bitch Time". If any doctor ever tells me I have "Irritable Male Syndrome", I'm going to take that as full permission to punch him right in the happy place. I mean, if he was at all paying attention to his own diagnosis, he'd have seen it coming, right?
So how do you know if you're suffering from IMS? Don't despair, there's a handy little quiz that will give you guidance!
Yes, on a scale of one to four, one being "Never" and four being "All the time", you're asked to judge how well a list of adjectives (mostly adjectives anyway. For a PhD holder, Diamond seems a little sketchy on his sentence structure sometimes) applies to you over the period of the last month.
Of course you must realize that I couldn't possibly pass up such an intriguing opportunity to learn about my emotional health. Do I suffer from "Irritable Male Syndrome"? Well, it's tough to say, because honestly, although I wouldn't dream of questioning the efficacy of Diamond's work, I think this quiz needs a little fine-tuning.
There are dozens of terms and phrases that you're asked to judge yourself on, among them:
Angry, Grumpy, Easily Annoyed, Aggressive, Hostile, Mean, Argumentative, Explosive.
Now, an educated guy like Diamond ought to know that those are all synonyms, or so close to synonyms that most people would have trouble differentiating between them in any practical way. I guess if you have a hot temper the test is sort of weighted against you because that counts eight different ways.
And some of these other terms aren't exactly synonyms, but still things that just sort of naturally pair with other ones:
Moody, Discontented, Tense, Touchy, Frustrated, Troubled.
Doesn't it stand to reason that if I'm Angry, Grumpy and Easily Annoyed that I probably couldn't help but be Moody or Tense about it?
And what the fuck, Troubled, did this guy spend hours pouring over dictionaries and thesauruses (thesauri?) trying to find the single most vague and broadly applicable but distinctly negative adjective he could find? Is there ANYone in the world who goes an entire month without feeling Troubled about something? Even Hugh Heffner gets a little edgy when he runs out of Viagra.
Other parts of the quiz would seem to have more to do with the quality of life you enjoy (or don't enjoy) than your emotional state:
Unloved, Unappreciated, Bored, Overworked, Overwhelmed.
Yeah, alright, so those might indicate a psychological problem, but might they also just be indicative of someone who has a shitty life?
And some of this stuff is just plain funny:
Need to Use Drugs or Alcohol. "Honey, I'm not an addict, I just have Irritable Male Syndrome!"
Need to Sleep more or Trouble Sleeping. Wow, so I've got IMS if I sleep too much OR if I sleep too little. What an curiously broad and encompassing clinical condition.
Desire to Eat. Holy shit! I have a desire to eat all the time! Every day in fact! I usually end up eating three times a day, sometimes more! And to think, it's been going on since childhood. I must need real professional help.
Sarcastic. Not to split hairs, but Sarcastic is something I am, not something I feel. And as you've probably noticed, your little quiz isn't clearing up the problem.
Urge to Drink Caffine [sic]. Seriously, that's how it's spelled on the quiz. And this thing has been up for a long time, so they've had plenty of opportunities to fix it. Just a reminder, this guy has a PhD. Although I'm not exactly sure in what...
If you're curious, I scored a whopping 89, indicating that IMS is "definitely present" and that I should seek treatment with Diamond, either in person or through his online program.
But wait, I'm only 27, IMS is supposed to strike when you're middle-aged and your hormone levels are going awry? Ah, well, I guess that means I'm just an asshole then.
And now I've got a psychological exam that proves it. Maybe this wasn't such a bad day after all. I'm feeling a little less Demanding, Withdrawn, and Impatient already.
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