In case you, like me, are still catching up on Eisner Award winners from fifteen years ago, here's something to help you through the pricklier points of indie comics fare that was considered cutting edge in the mid-90s but now reads like, well, something that was considered cutting edge in the mid-90s.
The rules are simple: Whenever you come across an example of any of the following in an issue of "Strangers in Paradise", you take a drink. And boy will you ever want a drink.
Ready? Reach for the bottle whenever:
-Someone cries.
-Someone yells.
-Someone yells, cries, then breaks something.
-A phone conversation ends with yelling.
+1 if the conversation was nothing but yelling.
+2 if the conversation was nothing but yelling at an answering machine.
-Someone gets hit.
+1 if that someone is David.
+2 if you don't care.
+3 if it's not David and it involves a broken nose (caring is optional).
-Someone leaves town.
+1 for each additional person who goes after them.
-Someone is hospitalized.
-Someone gets drunk.
+1 if it's Katchoo.
-Someone gets arrested.
+1 if it's Katchoo. So, pretty much every time.
-A male side character propositions one of the leads.
+1 if he's bald.
+2 if he's overweight.
+3 if he gets assaulted.
+4 if he's bald AND overweight AND gets assaulted (pace yourself, this is only page five!).
-An alarm clock goes off (don't ask me why, but there are a lot of alarm clocks in this series. I mean, a lot).
-A serious personal problem which would be cause for pathos with one of the leads (alcoholism, eating disorder, sexual frustration, etc.) is instead played for laughs with a side character.
-There's a dream sequence.
+1 if the dream illustrates a character's troubled past and/or overwhelming mass of insecurities (ie, things that didn't need ANY further illustration).
+2 if the dreamer wakes up by sitting bolt upright and screaming.
+3 if the shocking cliffhanger ending turns out to have been a dream (this actually only happens once, but it pissed me off enough that it makes the list).
-There's a poem.
+1 if it's bad.
+2 if Terry Moore wrote it.
-There's a song.
+1 if Terry Moore cites the recording artist with an asterisked footnote.
+2 if you've never heard of the artist.
-There's an iceberg-sized chunk of text just dropped into the middle of an issue.
-There's a satirical jab at mainstream comics that already feels dated.
-The story unexpectedly transitions from screwball comedy to overblown melodrama.
-The story unexpectedly transitions overblown melodrama to absurd, conspiracy-laden mob story.
-The story unexpectedly transitions from melodrama and/or mob story back to screwball comedy.
-Someone becomes unduly obsessed with Francine.
-You can't shake the feeling that Darcy resembles Ursula from "The Little Mermaid".
-You notice that a character looks more or less Asian than they did in the previous panel.
-David makes a painfully trite declaration of his love.
+1 if it's raining.
+2 if he's left standing there looking like a tool.
-Katchoo does not get to finish her current painting/sketch because she gets into a fight with someone.
+1 if that someone is her model.
-Francine is humiliated.
+1 if it involves her weight.
+2 if it involves her boobs (hey, don't blame me, I didn't write the comic!).
-One of the three leads almost sleeps with one of the three leads, but it doesn't quite happen.
-You finish an issue in which not a single character was a likable, believable, three dimensional person except for the leads.
+1 if you find you don't even like them.
***
Fun fact: I developed this game by accident. Read the series and you very likely will too.
Update Friday.
The rules are simple: Whenever you come across an example of any of the following in an issue of "Strangers in Paradise", you take a drink. And boy will you ever want a drink.
Ready? Reach for the bottle whenever:
-Someone cries.
-Someone yells.
-Someone yells, cries, then breaks something.
-A phone conversation ends with yelling.
+1 if the conversation was nothing but yelling.
+2 if the conversation was nothing but yelling at an answering machine.
-Someone gets hit.
+1 if that someone is David.
+2 if you don't care.
+3 if it's not David and it involves a broken nose (caring is optional).
-Someone leaves town.
+1 for each additional person who goes after them.
-Someone is hospitalized.
-Someone gets drunk.
+1 if it's Katchoo.
-Someone gets arrested.
+1 if it's Katchoo. So, pretty much every time.
-A male side character propositions one of the leads.
+1 if he's bald.
+2 if he's overweight.
+3 if he gets assaulted.
+4 if he's bald AND overweight AND gets assaulted (pace yourself, this is only page five!).
-An alarm clock goes off (don't ask me why, but there are a lot of alarm clocks in this series. I mean, a lot).
-A serious personal problem which would be cause for pathos with one of the leads (alcoholism, eating disorder, sexual frustration, etc.) is instead played for laughs with a side character.
-There's a dream sequence.
+1 if the dream illustrates a character's troubled past and/or overwhelming mass of insecurities (ie, things that didn't need ANY further illustration).
+2 if the dreamer wakes up by sitting bolt upright and screaming.
+3 if the shocking cliffhanger ending turns out to have been a dream (this actually only happens once, but it pissed me off enough that it makes the list).
-There's a poem.
+1 if it's bad.
+2 if Terry Moore wrote it.
-There's a song.
+1 if Terry Moore cites the recording artist with an asterisked footnote.
+2 if you've never heard of the artist.
-There's an iceberg-sized chunk of text just dropped into the middle of an issue.
-There's a satirical jab at mainstream comics that already feels dated.
-The story unexpectedly transitions from screwball comedy to overblown melodrama.
-The story unexpectedly transitions overblown melodrama to absurd, conspiracy-laden mob story.
-The story unexpectedly transitions from melodrama and/or mob story back to screwball comedy.
-Someone becomes unduly obsessed with Francine.
-You can't shake the feeling that Darcy resembles Ursula from "The Little Mermaid".
-You notice that a character looks more or less Asian than they did in the previous panel.
-David makes a painfully trite declaration of his love.
+1 if it's raining.
+2 if he's left standing there looking like a tool.
-Katchoo does not get to finish her current painting/sketch because she gets into a fight with someone.
+1 if that someone is her model.
-Francine is humiliated.
+1 if it involves her weight.
+2 if it involves her boobs (hey, don't blame me, I didn't write the comic!).
-One of the three leads almost sleeps with one of the three leads, but it doesn't quite happen.
-You finish an issue in which not a single character was a likable, believable, three dimensional person except for the leads.
+1 if you find you don't even like them.
***
Fun fact: I developed this game by accident. Read the series and you very likely will too.
Update Friday.
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