True tales of social awkwardness!

I'm not exactly what you'd call a "people person." In fact, I'm barely even what you would call a "person" by most workable definitions.

As such, I sometimes encounter difficulties in what you might consider daily, routine social interactions. The things that, in my mind, are appropriate to say sometimes turn out to be...not.

Often it's all a matter of context. You have to know your audience. And you have to know how you and your audience differ. For example, I like Johnny Cash, particularly "Folsom Prison Blues":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7gV5C5mB7A%EF%BB%BF

Ahhh. That's good stuff.

But not everyone is a Cash fan, apparently. Case in point, a group of acquaintances who shall remain nameless for the time being. About two years ago, just in passing, one of them mentioned he was taking a trip to Reno, to which I replied:

"Well, I'd come with you, but I try to stay out of that town. See, I once shot a man in Reno just to watch him die."

I realized instantly that I had made a mistake. Everyone's body language told me in less than half a second that:

A) They were not familiar with that song.

B) They had no context whatsoever on what I had just said.

and C) They were all looking for the fastest route out of that room, and I mean now.

It was without exaggeration the single most uncomfortable moment I've ever experienced. You could just feel all of the oxygen leave the room. I did my best to explain myself, but it was pointless, there is no recovering from that. That is the one true Point of No Return.

You could say it was their fault for leading what must have been pretty sheltered lives, as far as I judge such things. But then again, maybe it's just not a good idea for me to go saying stuff like that no matter who I'm hanging out with.

On the bright side, it's good to have a yardstick for awkward silences. For the rest of my life I can assess any given pause and say to myself, "Well, that was pretty bad, but at least it wasn't as bad as that one time."

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some things to attend to. If your head explodes with dark forebodings too, I'll see you on the dark side of the moon.