Wait, which country do I live in?
America, really?
Well, what country does Captain America represent?
...also America, yeah, I guess I shouldn’t have had to ask.
So, to review, I am American, and there is a movie out right now called “Captain America”, is that the lay of the land?
Well then, my task is clear. Someone cue the Jimi Hendrix cover of “The Star-Spangled Banner” to play me into the theater.
Captain America: The First Avenger
Directed by: A Man Out of Time.
Starring: The nicest guy in the world, the scariest guy in the world, and the biggest distraction ever to appear onscreen.
Basics:
In this corner: Captain America, democracy, freedom, Big Macs, etc.
In that corner: The Red Skull, fascism, slavery, sauerkraut, etc.
Go.
The Good:
God, this was so much fun.
“Captain America” is not the best movie I’ve seen all year, but it was by far the most enjoyable. This is an old-fashioned, two-fisted action adventure movie in the style of “Raiders of the Lost Ark”, and it’s just the most damn fun I’ve had in months. I couldn’t have done it better myself. In fact, I didn’t. Halfway through this I was assaulted by the unwanted recollection that, when I was 18, I wrote a screenplay for a Captain America movie.
It sucked.
We will never speak of it again.
And how could this movie not be good when Joe Johnston have basically been trying to make it for his entire life? Johnston loves the 40s so much he probably hasn’t even heard yet that FDR died. No one has the heart to break it to him. Joe sends up his gung-ho style at the beginning of the second act, but for the most part he plays the pulp sensibilities completely straight without a hint of a wink. It’s damn fun.
So often when these comic book adaptations go awry, fans bemoan how easy it should have been to get right, saying “Why didn’t they just do-”. This is the movie that “just does”, it charts a simple path to success, and then it takes it, and it looks so easy that you have to wonder why people don’t do this more often.
Huh. I really wanna buy war bonds now, for some reason. Do we still have those?
For example, how do you make the audience sympathize with your hero? Well, how about you just make him a good guy? Yeah, that’s right, you could make him an asshole with issues who growls at the camera all the time, like most movies. You could do that. Or you could make him, ya know, heroic. You just can’t not love Chris Evans in this role, he’s so genuine and earnest and non-cynical. Why don’t more movies try this?
On that note, I’ve got this Gordian Knot that’s been giving me trouble, does anyone have any suggestions how to undo it?
In fact, EVERY character in this movie is great. There’s not a toolbox in the bunch. Christ that was refreshing not to have to listen to some whiny wankster piss and moan for two hours. They took Hayley Atwell, Tommy Lee Jones, and Stanley Tucci at the recruiting station, but they gave a 4F to Squall, Edward Cullen, and Harry Potter (sorry Harry, but someone had to say it). Ship off losers, we’ve got fun characters to hang out with.
And then there’s Hugo Weaving...no Mr. Weaving, I wasn’t about to say anything critical about you. No, no, I liked you in this movie, I swear, it was inspired casting, I mean it! Oh God, please, I have kids (somewhere, maybe?), don’t do anything crazy, please sweet Jesus, I like you, I like all of your movies, even “Matrix: Revolutions”! Spare me, spare me!
Nazi Hugo Weaving is my Boggart.
The Bad:
This is a good movie. But only a good movie. It’s never great.
Compare this to, say “Thor”, which is often great, but also uneven. “Captain America” is never uneven, it’s one of the most consistent movies I’ve ever seen, but it never rises to the level of other great superhero movies we’ve seen. It’s good. Maybe even very good. But never more than that.
Our first major set piece is a foot chase turned car chase turned submarine chase (seriously!) that is quite entertaining. But it’s not anything special. It’s fun, but it didn’t wow me. Nothing in the movie really wowed me until the end. It’s never bad, but it engenders good will more than awe, general affection rather than admiration.
“Captain America” plays it safe. To a degree, this is commendable (go back to the “Why didn’t they just-” thing), but a movie that fails to take necessary risks lets itself, and its audience, down.
The plot, utilitarian thing though it is, left me a bit confused. It’s clear that our bad guys are Bad Guys. It’s clear that their evil plan is an Evil Plan. It’s clear that they want to destroy, well, pretty much everything. I’m just not sure why, or exactly how, they’re doing it. Oddly, it seems to have almost nothing to do with the war that is the background for this war movie. Our Nazi bad guys actually quit being Nazis early on. That's just maddeningly unsatisfying. Put on the Reich, damn it!
Miss Atwell appears to be losing the Battle of the Bulge on two fronts. ...I'm sorry.
And can someone please put a muzzle on this movie’s score? It’s like an overbearing mother, or that matchmaker from “Fiddler on the Roof.” Seriously Alan Silvestri, back up about a thousand yards, the movie has got it from here.
The Ugly:
You can say what you want about American society, culture, media, and government, and most of the time I’ll probably agree with you. Even if I don't, I will debate you respectfully, without waving the flag or thumping my chest, cuz, ya know, I'm not a tool.
But if you say something bad about Captain America, as a character...we're gonna have to take this outside. Every man has his limit. This is mine. I love this character. I'm not backing down.
Bottom Line:
I just can’t get over how fun this is.
“Captain America” is disappointing in that it never tries, and subsequently never succeeds, at being anything more than decent. But the consistency with which it is decent, and the obvious wham-bang sense of boyish fun evinced by everything about the production, are incredibly compelling.
I have watched some very good movies this year, and I have watched a couple of truly great movies this year, and almost all of them are, technically, better than “Captain America”, but I would rather watch “Captain America” a second time before returning to any of those.
And yes I know I should have had this done last week. You want reliable scheduling, start paying me.
Trailer Park:
Rise of the Planet of the Apes:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LaK6khs8aMw
I know I’ve already crapped on this trailer a couple times, but I just had to make light of that line: “Is that a chimp?” No, it’s not, it’s quite clearly a computer effect. Hard to believe you were fooled at that range. I'm in the audience and I ain't even buying it.
Amazing Spider-Man:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XayxMPrUP4
Oh great, because I’ve always wondered what Spider-Man would be like if he were on a show on the CW produced by Rob Thomas.
Mission Impossible 4:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0LQnQSrC-g
I’d like to present an “You’re Awesome!” award to the guy in our theater who shouted “Oh no!” when Tom Cruise’s face came on screen. That beats the Shyamalan groan in my book.
Next: Oh my yes, it’s finally time. It is time for James Bond and Han Solo to strap on six shooters and fight aliens. I could not be more ready for this. Please God, if you plan on taking me soon, just wait until the end credits. I can go in peace after this.
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