Business card ideas.

1. "Adam L Brinklow, Slacker. (Since 1983!)"

2. "Certified non-infectious."

3. "Overly-frank appraisals of everything about you, ask me how!"

4. "Opinions and an asshole: I've got both!"

5." Future last angry man."

6. "Making the world slightly more awkward, one conversation at a time."

7. Both sides: "See other side for details."

8. "Receives sexual gratification from people handling his business cards."