Degrees of responsibility.

I don't like to think of myself as a hero. I would prefer to just let all of you think that, and then play it off as graciously and modestly as I can while still reaping the considerable social benefits. Seems less crass that way.

Of course, we're not born heroes (with the obvious exception of that kid who foiled a bank robbery by breaking Mom's water in the middle of it), but rather, we remain vigilant for the call of duty and then we answer it. Possibly around the third or fourth ring, but even so.

For example, today I'm at work, minding my own business, never suspecting that at a moment's notice the lives of any number of bystanders will be put in my hands (although it should be noted that my hands are an excellent place for bystander lives, as well as for large bank notes and anything else of supreme importance that you might want me to hang onto). Minding my own business, I picked up a seemingly innocuous container lid, much like any other:

And if not for my keen eye I might never have noticed that there was something amiss about this lid. This lid was not a lid at all but a ticking timebomb. Metaphorically. Observe, this lid came with a warning label, and what did it say?

That's right! Do not exceed one hundred and eighty degrees. And yet, as you can tell from the first photo, the manufacturers recklessly disregarded their own guidelines and crafted this lid into a circle, a shape which has, if my memory serves me, no less than three hundred and sixty degrees, DOUBLE the number of degrees designated as safe!

I realized that this lid might be structurally unstable. I confess I don't know what happens when you go over the degree limit with this type of plastic, but I knew for sure that I didn't want to find out. Fortunately, I knew just what to do, and at a moment's notice, I sprang into action.

I don't like to boast, but if I say so myself, my solution was as elegant in its simplicity as it was ingenious in its efficacy. But you don't have to take my word for it, as I had the presence of mind to document the results.

Crisis averted.

There's no need to thank me. I was just doing my job. Anyone would have done the same in my position. Probably not as well, and they certainly wouldn't have looked as devastatingly handsome while they did it, but that's alright. Not everyone can have it all.